Guidance from the Fairies Day 3

Ok. So I am not sticking to doing this daily. My inner fret about not doing it ‘properly’ I am calling it, continues to blast at me. I have had a child inpatiented, another one having a college crisis, and the I was rear-ended which caused a return of neck back and brain issues. And yet, on top of navigating these issues, which to me are feeling like constant crisis. I am choosing to bash me for not being enough to simply take care of me.

OH. Is that all? Perhaps I might have written that down sooner. It doesn’t look as bad in written words, as it is looking while in my head.

So. I might keep the day thing up top. I may not. I’m doing it to keep the post titles now from having a fit.

And now look at me explaining myself to the imaginary YOU, gosh I hate that and now I am doing it. I’m the only one that cares, how hilarious!

I was also urged when I read the cards for today to want to play and to create and then music presented itself so I stopped posting this and I worked out a Morning Trip.

Now, Onward to the cards for today

Three cards down, two are blocks.

Romantic Partner A new romance is coming your way! Either a new person or a revival of passion in an existing relationship, will delight you now and in the future. Well Yah! I am seeking grounding all night in my sleep with someone gone now that used to be a teacher and intimate friend. Never know when I go there if I am going there or just in my head. In the end it signifies things for me. Time to relax, to watch getting or seeking from others, acting out on my defects of character. Sometimes it is to get that need right sized and in a form so that I can express a desire I have been sitting upon. And then blaming everything and everything because I am not getting nor feeling what I want–and then I notice a great chance to shout what I want and I find I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THAT REALLY IS! Betting this is why the dream last night before getting the blocked card this morning.

“They remind you romance is a state of mind and it involves playfulness and creativity sometimes when we’re stressed we crave romance the most, and yet we may not know how to experience romance.” MMMm hmmmm sigh.

I AM A ROMANTIC PERSON. I RELEASE ANY FEARS I MAY HAVE ABOUT GIVING AND RECEIVING LOVE.

Look Inside Yourself Trying to find satisfaction through outside sources: possessions, relationships. Look within.
Trap! I’ll be happy if and when…..(fill in blank) DOH! I did some of these readings that I have not posted and I keep getting this card. It kinda makes me go UGH and oh thank you HP all at the same time.

I HAVE GREAT BEAUTY AND LIGHT INSIDE OF ME RIGHT NOW. I TAP IN TO ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE UNIVERSE.

Self-reliance Block card.
Filter out negativity that may sway you from listening to your own inner voice. (yep and some of this is coming from my looking to those outside sources for YEARS–now which is my own defect and which makes it toxic, choices! choices!)

I AM TUNED IN TO MY OWN INNER SOURCE OF DIRECTION. i CONFIDENTLY RELY UPON THIS INNER SOURCE TO GUIDE ME PERFECTLY.
And I have NOT been. I fear making a mistake. Insides screaming yes yes freedom of expression! Get it all out there, get those first two cards that’ll fix it lol. I do NOT trust that feeling that comes when not grounded that I’ve got to blow things up. I never feel confident knowing if there is something to be salvaged or to hold onto so to speak or to know when it is again time to acknowledge trying to get water from a dry well.

About Elisa

I love reading, writing, poetry, photography and cooking and and and...!!! "It gives me strength, almost unbelievable strength, to know that you are there. I covet your eyes, your ears, the collapsible space between us. How blessed are we to have each other? I am alive and you are alive and so we must fill the air with our words." - Dave Eggers
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