4th of January

Solar Question of the Day from Celtic Devotional by Caitlin Matthews
4th of January
Where do you need to exercise self-control?

2014: First thoughts…I need NOT to control. Well, the word need is a problem. lol. The body of groundedness, works as it is to work. I do not need to fiddle with it. That first step toward the word and the concept given to us to create a hole for someone or something outside of ourselves to fill is Hell. The concept comes from outside and yet, it is often taken to the inside and then we begin to control, to exert a search, to rip apart, to become ungrounded. The feeling of ungroundedness creates a rather nasty feeling that always accompanies the brain match that we believe is cause and effect, the brain match that says AH HA I HAVE NEED!! I MUST CONTROL!!

Next thoughts…I exert so much self control, allowing others to be themselves that I have nothing, I am not acknowledged, needs unseen or worse, worthless and uncared for. This is damaging to myself. To speak many times that I will not be understood and that I might create harm. I suppose the reality of this is that perception in the decoder is the one that creates or feels the need(ha) to feel damaged or harmed. But, the world seems to like fault and thus isn’t so responsible for working out real communication and meaning nor the expressions of the one expressing. I feel damaged by doing the right thing. I get angry over the idea of karma. I do not believe that a person should do anything in an attempt to gain or to have consequences removed and yet…I think within my complaint that I meant to say…I’m doing it right…and I feel punished….others do it wrong and nothing (that I can see creates justice…ha justice does not exist…another concept to drive people away from what they know and are).

I keep thinking of balance as I type. I hear words of a person that I felt was a teacher who gave me the idea of that candle with the flickering flame. It is my job not to let it flicker/go out. I can argue with the wind, the fingers pinching the flame, the result will always be the smoke after. I still think that why why why are there so many intent on extinguishment, can’t I just be invisible, I’m not hurting anyone….true true and blah blah. I can clear me. I can clean me. I can do shield work. I can attract or repel certain things. If I do not do these things and care for myself I am going to feel like shit. If that falls under self control, then that I can do. It is strange how ritual, work, and habit are sneaky items. Which are energetically charged. Why does effect seem to change. Do I need to keep one or the other. How to evaluate where I am when I become so used to a good space that I tune it out. The salt of the earth woman!! Keep it simple begin with salt. One washes one’s hands after taking a dump. Without poo on the hands, one never really does know that the hands are carrying anything and yet one goes through the motions because it’s motion when nothing is there, and it cleanses where germs exist.

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