Solar Question of the Day from Celtic Devotional by Caitlin Matthews
23rd of November:
What is the source of your deepest refreshment?
First thoughts, gosh I have to find a way to organize this so that I can simply think without having my practice disturbed by ‘blogging’. So, I took action. Action, while sometimes feeling difficult, can be a source of refreshment. Next thoughts…This is sooo going to be like a forth step but on the plus side. I cannot recall really doing that before. I check me out daily to flush out the defects. To me, perhaps leaving what is left says they are ‘good’. The aspects of the refreshment though, I bet are like ….i was angry at my boss cause she’s a bitch…like an early 4th step. I had to go back to that statement quite often and make a conscious effort to see all of the parts, and see them as MINE. Not someone else’s. Not outside of me, causing poooooooooooor me to be subjected. So, I am thinking that some of the images I choose to post refresh me. Why? Uhm, they are pretty? (well i probably think so-ha) They smell good. They make my heart sing or fly or to be still. I can hear God in them! I am feeling grounded for some of them–or I could, if I took the time, at the time, though I can always begin again at any moment. Is hearing God refreshing? or does the hearing lead to something else? are there other things that lead to the same feeling? Do I know what to call it or how to express it without a layer in the front of it?
Just back from the movie, that I went to, by myself! I went in my comfy clothes with my hair still sticking up from bed this morning. There were only three other people in the entire theater and I got to have my own thoughts and my own feelings and to simply enjoy and value my own agenda! I always forget what this feeeels like. I may speak up and claim to need it and claim that I feel bombarded with everyone and everything else in my way, but I always forget, until the moment I feel it. I understand shielding myself. I’m not sure that I can always DO it. IF I do it by will, it is stressful and it makes me have to be defensive, like ready for a fight. I am not relaxed and enjoying who I am. I dislike it if my tumbling thoughts sound like rationales for holding onto things or a complaint. This was said in a moment of awe and joy at how it works.